When it comes to raising teenagers, parents are often confused on how to best support and connect with them. For many parents, trying to have a meaningful conversation with their teen often leads to a yelling match and everyone feeling frustrated.

Today, we will explore why your teen thinks you’re always yelling at them.

As your teen’s brain is growing and developing, how they are processing information is changing too. During this time, it is much easier for a teen’s amygdala, the part of the brain that experiences emotion, to misread emotions and heighten the intensity. 

Have you ever heard of the phrase, “they are flipping their lid?”

What’s really happening is their frontal cortex, the part of the brain that protects the amygdala and promotes logical thinking and reasoning, is becoming disengaged from their amygdala. 

When this happens the logical part of their brain and the emotional part of their brain are not communicating, nor working in harmony. 

This is a natural reaction in your teen’s brain based on their developmental stage. As a result, they may misinterpret your emotions and perceive you as loud, angry or frustrated, even if that is not the case. 

When talking with your teen and you notice them getting frustrated or yelling at you, take a moment to slow down the situation. 

Acknowledge your teen’s emotions and your own, while slowing down both of your responses.

Help your teen take note of what they are feeling in their mind and body. Where they may feel tension or sensations are in their chest, shoulders, stomach or other parts of the body. 

After you both have taken time to slow down and in turn, calm down, tackle problem solving the issue at hand, together. Now the situation is de-escalated and another yelling match can be avoided.  

If you need extra support with parenting challenges or connecting with your teen, then schedule an appointment today with one of us at Cedar Tree Counseling.

Bree Minger

Bree Minger

Children, Teens, & Couples

I believe your family has the strength to try something unlike any other solution they have attempted before. My focus is working with young families and adolescents. I help them work through the hard season of life of parenting stress, life transitions, and adolescent concerns.

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